I have no idea what you mean by "3kw" for a hot water heater. My guess us the system works as follows:
PTC is on hot water side of the tube.
When the tube heats up, it starts the pump.
If temp is too low, it shuts down the pump.
There may be a 2nd thermostat at the hot water heater. If when up...
I belive the reason victron is not more popular is that they are not UL Listed. They have CE for Europe, but not UL for USA.
For the cost of two victrons, you can get the 6000xp, which includes the charge controllers. If you need more power, you can parallel a second.
It would be easy to stay...
"Grid tied" means can export power to the grid. Almost all AIO can take power from the grid, just like they can take from a generator. The grid is a big generator.
Grow the system to what size?
Design your eventual system, and figure out how to install that in stages. I'm guessing you will want one inverter, and grow the system by adding panels and batteries over time.
Victron makes good equipment, but is not typical for a house in the USA.
Note...