Dad Jokes (let's hear your worst! ;-)

[Tulex]

Why was Cinderella so bad at soccer?

Spoiler

She kept running away from the ball.

 

[Delmar]

Our house has termites so I made one our pet. Clint is his name. Clint eats wood.

 

[Delmar]

I got a job as a diesel fitter at a ladies lingerie store. Whenever a guy came in looking for something as a gift, I would first ask for her size.

When I found the perfect item for her I would loudly announce:

Spoiler

diesel fitter!

 

[HRTKD]

 

[wattmatters]

That's just fibulas.

 

[Delmar]

I found it only mildly humerus.

 

[Daddy Tanuki]

NOOOO my head hurts reading this thread.

 

[JoeHam]

OK, that’s 3 different human bone puns.

203 more bones to go .

I’m not just ribbing.

 

[sunshine_eggo]

Did you know that there are enough bones in the human body to...

Spoiler

MAKE AN ENTIRE SKELETON!!!!

 

[JimP]

A bunch of bona fide comedians around here.

 

[HRTKD]

A dentist found something wrong with one of his patients. The upper plate that had been put in earlier was corroding. "What have you been eating?", the dentists asked the man.

"All I can think of is that about three months ago my wife made some asparagus and put Hollandaise sauce on it. I loved it so much, I put it on everything now."

"That's the problem," the dentist said, frowning. "Hollandaise sauce contains lemon juice, which is highly corrosive. I'll make you a new plate, and this time use chrome."

"Why chrome?"

"It's simple. Everyone knows there's no plate like chrome for the Hollandaise."

 

[Delmar]

I went to the dentist because my teeth were stained. The dentist asked me “do you smoke or drink coffee?” I told him I drink it.